The Fear of Stopping

Book Clips from It's Time to Stop Nail Biting...4 Steps to Success
An Innovative Program for Adults & Children by Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht & Joseph Bohorquez, M.D., Originators of Interactive Awareness & Interactive Self-Hypnosis

Like it or not, the way you care for your hands, fingernails and other body areas can make or break you in many areas of your life. You may not choose to observe these parts of you, but others are, and there is a part of you that is completely aware of this. This is why you are very good at hiding your hands, as well as choosing the best time to bite and pick. I want you to start paying attention to these facets. You are going to become a detective and as you get better at his, you will get to know your problem in many new ways. This is the beginning of stopping.

Meet Linda: Whenever I think about stopping my habit, I become very frightened, almost to the point of panic. Why is this and what can I do to move past this roadblock?

Linda has made an excellent observation and one that will benefit from journaling with her subconscious mind. Feeling overwhelmed is a common fear that appears in the moment of awakening. It's rather like a big plate of pasta with all the strands tangled around each other. When life is seen or perceived like this, it's common to freeze in fear, and then to stay locked up in another kind of fear known as procrastination. It's good to know that it is possible to break free of this paralyzing fear-state. Here in this book you will learn to do just that and more. I'd like you to keep in mind that you are the writer, director and producer of your life, and it is definitely time to re-write and produce some new ways to do things.

You already know that we have a tendency to live in automatic pilot programs. Take your nail biting and picking habit for example. On most occasions you may not even recognize that you are doint it. This is automatic pilot. Many of our mind programs, automatic or even chosen, do not reflect what we truly want, but yet most of us keep doing the same things over and over. This is about to change.

This book is about brfeaking out of automatic pilot programs that trigger nail biting and picking. It's about waking up, stopping to assess and then choosing to change what calls to be changed. It's about enhancing what works and bringing more of these high-end working programs to the fore where they will support your self-discipline to choose to stop nail biting and picking behaviors.

Besides nail biting and picking, there is another habit to contend with and that is the habit of compulsion. Let's go ahead and work with this a bit. If you are a nail biter or skin picker, I'm sure you have ongoing dreams about stopping, for it's rare to meet someone wanting to keep an undesirable habit. For some reason, just the idea of stopping is frightening. This idea then becomes it's own phobia or fear-based thought program, adding to the difficulty of stopping the habit. It's important for you to see or know these as separate, because they do need to be managed separately as well. You will learn more about how to do this as we climb the solutions steps together. For right now, it's enough to know or acknowledge this.

Throughout this book I'll be sharing quite a bit of information that you need to know. Please don't feel overwhelmed by this amount of detail. You don't need to keep it in your consciousness. I'd like to suggest that you choose to relax deeply each time you pick up this book. Also, make certain you won't be interrupted for the amount of time you have decided to dedicate to taking care of yourself and managing your habit or habits.

Again, don't worry about remembering all of this information. If you like, highlight certain key phrases. That is fine. This book is written in self-hypnotic suggestion and so your own mind will absorb what is written here. You will actually find yourself changing, simply through reading. The book is accompanied by a self-hypnosis CD program that will reinforce this new knowledge with additional self-hypnotic suggestion. If you are reading this book to help your child, do know that the CD program can be utilized for your child as well, unless your child is very young. I do have programs available for younger children, and you can find out about thoese at the back of this book.

Throughout the book I'll be posting "knowledge hooks." These are signposts for the subconscious mind to wak up and pay special attention. Sometimes when we read, the mind goes off on a tangent, and so it is helpful to have these special hooks to bring us back to attention. Other signposts you will find include "self-work", as well as "mind-work" including self-hypnosis practice. Your own subconcious mind will begin to recognize these signposts and prepare you for relaxing to the correct level as these written suggestions are absorbed.

2006 Copyrighted. May not be copied or published in any form without written permission from the authors.

Nail Biting and Skin Picking are Multi-Faceted Habits

Book Clips from It's Time to Stop Nail Biting...4 Steps to Success
An Innovative Program for Adults & Children by Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht & Joseph Bohorquez, M.D., Originators of Interactive Awareness & Interactive Self-Hypnosis

We talk about our habits or problems "as if" they were simply one thing, but they are not. I'm sure you've noticed this when I discussed my own habit with you, and certainly when you answered the questions in the last chapter. Habits have many parts and here sits the reason for failure for most of us. The crux of failure is that we have a tendency to rush into solutions without first studying the parts in detail, as well as assessing our own strengths or weakenesses. So, if you begin climbing the solution steps without everything you need to succeed, you might fail. This book will help you to see what it is that you need to know. Keep in mind that each of us is different. What you need, may not be the same as what another reader needs. Keep your journal handy as you move through these pages. Your own subconscious mind will find your own personal connections and present them to you. Then, you will be ready to actively work with them. Here are some examples shared by my patients, as well as some mind-opening teaching:

Meet Jana: I'm 33 years old. I've bitten my nails and picked my cuticles for so long that I can't remember not doing it. How can I stop?

It will help Jana to understand that we begin to curtail nail biting and picking by collecting facets or awareness moments. It's like taking a puzzle apara and truly paying attention to those parts. This is a special kind of focus. Perhaps you have never spent time looking and studying your hands and fingers, nor the behaviors that are involved in their destruction. That will end here as you read this book. Some aspects of your habit and behaviors may appear very small, perhaps insignificant, but they are not. Each forms an important clue to your special brand of nail biting and picking and it is absolutely necessary to get to know them well.

From now on forward, you and Jana will begin a finite study of your hands, nails, cuticles and finger-skin. They tell a story about you and what you are about. They form a very external story based on inside details and in a way, a very honest story. There are plenty of destructive habits that may not be so obvious, such as alcoholism and binge eating, but the destruction from nail biting and picking is right ouththere for everyone to see. Be willing to truly look at them now and really see them, finger by finger, nail by nail, finger-skin by finger-skin. By observing your hands and fingers, it is abundantly clear that you have a problem and it is time to fully acknowledge it.

Just like an alcoholic must admit to his or her alcohol addiction, so must a nail biter or skin picker. And, while you are doing this, also admit to your lack of self-care in this area, as well as to acknowledge how you manage your stress. If you choose to be successful in managing this habit, it is key to own it completely. Only then will you have the power you need, so go ahead right now and do this for yourself.

2006 - Copyrighted. No part of this information may be copied or reproduced in any format without written permission by the authors.

Visiting the Beginning & Beginning to Stop

Book Clips from It's Time to Stop Nail Biting...4 Steps to Success
An Innovative Program for Adults & Children by Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht & Joseph Bohorquez, M.D., Originators of Interactive Awareness & Interactive Self-Hypnosis

It helps to visit the beginning of your habit formation. If you don't have a recollection of this, simply imagine that you do. This imaginingwill stimulate your subconscious mind to bring up early memories that will be helpful as you read through this book and practice with the CD program.

I'm fortunate in that I remember the exact day that I started biting my nails. I was about six years old and attending a church service. My mother noticed that I had a finger in my nose. She macked my hand down, telling me tht I was never to do that again. "What would people think about a young lady with such terrible behavior!" Truth be known, I found church very boring and needed something to do to release my "child-stress", so I could sit through the tedious sermon. I clearly remember putting my fingers in my mouth and playing with them. Mommy paid no attention. Great news for me. I had found a way to accompany myself through the boredom. It felt good. As time passed I came to realize that I could do this for other uncomfortable moments and if Mommy told me to take my fingers out of my mouth, I realized that I could pick them without her saying anything. Then I learned that I could peel or bite the picked part right off. I didn't even mind if it hurt. For some reason the hurt felt good. I also remember that I felt a tension release during these activities and it was even more pleasurable if I could hide it from others, especially Mommy. I truly believe this was the beginning of hiding other negative, but cherished behaviors, especially related to my future addictions and eating disorder.

I've studied my own habit over the years and here are some things I've learned about it. Pay attention to how specific these things are. My preference is to skin pick, and especially the skin around my left middle finger. At one point in my life I was able to stop all natil biting and picking, as long as I allowed myself to pick this particular finger. At one point I had created a hole in that area that was prone to infections. While all of this may sound rather ridiculous, it is quite important, as it indicated my feelings about it. I've always been amazed at how my subconcious mind knows exactly where all those little areas are that are waiting or seemingly wanting to be picked, and how I can go directly to that poor finger without any awareness whatsoever.

INNER COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS

As I learned to be "still & to pay attention" to the specifics of my habit, I was able to learn many things that would prove to be valuable in the development of my plan to stop. Isolating and studying my own inner communication system or thoughts, helped me and still helps me to know what specifics need to be mind-edited or changed. This is key in breaking any habit, including nail biting and skin picking, as well as updating or upgrading the "staying stopped program." The good news is that it is not difficult to locate these specifics. Like me, you have a personal assistant in your own subconcious mind. Simply ask for what you need!

Here's a working example. I was driving to work this morning when I found myself picking my cuticles at every red light or when traffic came to a halt. Even though it was early morning, I was already feeling stress building from some petty annoyances. My body was producing and storing stress chemicals, despite the fact I just woke up an hour ago. At the very same time, my body was working to release these through my cuticle picking. As I tuned into the rest of my body, the tension was obvious, rather like a suit of armor. No wonder I was picking my cuticles! This automatic pilot program is still in place, even though I've corrected my nail biting habit. In other words, even though I now know "how not to bite my nails or pick my cuticles," it was important for me to wake up to this, because then I was able to reprogram my mind in that very moment, as you will be able to do as well, as you learn to climb the four steps.

SELF-WORK

Take some time now to think about when you began your habit, as well as some observations about it. As I mentioned earlier, don't be concerned with the exact time, unless it screams out at you. It will help you to work with a journal. Keep one specifically for this purpose. This gives a powerful suggestion to your own subconscious mind that you are actively involved in solving the underlying issues to your habit and therefore your mind will be more forthcoming. Keep the journal simple and informatil. Ask your mind questions and write the responses. Here are a few questions to get you started:

When did I begin this habit?
Why do I want to stop?
Why don't I want to stop?
What will I miss?
What rewards do I get from my biting and picking?
What are the triggers that set me off?
When are my prime times for biting or picking?

2006 - All material is copyrighted and cannot be reproduced or copied in any form without author's permission.

Getting Ready to Begin...

Book Clips from It's Time to Stop Nail Biting...4 Steps to Success
An Innovative Program for Adults & Children by Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht & Joseph Bohorquez, M.D., Originators of Interactive Awareness & Interactive Self-Hypnosis

Deciding to stop biting your nails or picking your skin indicates a desire for self-rehabilitation. You may think that this is just about getting a habit under control, but you are about to dind out that it is much more than this, and being aware of this is good news. Over the years I've worked with hundreds of nail biters...including myself. Like other biters and pckers, I tried to stop thousands of times, or at least I thought I did.

I know what it feels like to be ashamed of my hands and I certainly know what it feels like not to be able to stop.

Thinking about stopping is not the same as developing and implementing a plant to do so. Thinking is simply the presence of thoughts, some invited to consciousness and others coming to play on automatic pilot. While we may entertain thousands of thoughts each day, only a small fraction of these become part of a purposeful goal pla, and even less result in specific actions. So, I guess I'll have to restate my calculations about how many times I actually planned, and then acted, in order to stop my nail biting and picking. It was once........and it was successful.

Each and every day I apply this plan to keep myself free of my old habit. It is now a full-fledged self-discipline program in it's own right, much of it now ingrained on auto-pilot. I have been sharing this discipline with my patients for many years, and now I'm happy to share it with you. The discipline has four parts or steps. We'll learn them in order and then they will order themselves into your own life:

* Step One - Daily Practical Applications
* Step Two - Nutritional Connection
* Step Three - Mind & Body Communications
* Step Four - Interactive Self-Hypnosis Applications

I know you want to stop biting your nails and picking your skin right now. Perhaps you are in a hurry to climb the steps, and I can certainly understand that desire. I'm sure you are sick and tired of your bothersome habits or problems, and you want to be free of them. Many habits or problems are heavy-hitters, interfering with life as a whole. Others prove to be an annoyance, perhaps a mystery at the same time. Nail biting and skin picking fall into this category. You may have wondered why you could be so successful in certain areas of your life, and yet be such a complete failure at things that appear so simple on the surface.

Let me help you out here. Have you ever considered that perhaps nail biting and skin picking are not as simple as they appear on the surface? Truthfully, these habits are quite complex, but it is in their complexity that the mystery of why you bie or pick will be uncoered, thereby helping you to stop forever.

There are many things to know about nail biting and skin picking in general. First, your undesirable habit will not be exactly the same as someone else's. While millions of people bite and pick, your very own habit is constructed differently from others. Keep in mind that all habits, like addictions or problems, are colored by personal experience. We also gain expertise at managing different aspects of them. Like me, you may be someone who has altered your biting or picking habits over the years, and so you are already familiar with this important aspect. Yes, there is much to learn and the better you dissect your habit, the more permanent your success will be. Se, let's begin the important background you will need before climbing those four steps.

October 2006 - All material is copyrighted and cannot be copied or reprinted without permission of the authors.