Visiting the Beginning & Beginning to Stop

Book Clips from It's Time to Stop Nail Biting...4 Steps to Success
An Innovative Program for Adults & Children by Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht & Joseph Bohorquez, M.D., Originators of Interactive Awareness & Interactive Self-Hypnosis

It helps to visit the beginning of your habit formation. If you don't have a recollection of this, simply imagine that you do. This imaginingwill stimulate your subconscious mind to bring up early memories that will be helpful as you read through this book and practice with the CD program.

I'm fortunate in that I remember the exact day that I started biting my nails. I was about six years old and attending a church service. My mother noticed that I had a finger in my nose. She macked my hand down, telling me tht I was never to do that again. "What would people think about a young lady with such terrible behavior!" Truth be known, I found church very boring and needed something to do to release my "child-stress", so I could sit through the tedious sermon. I clearly remember putting my fingers in my mouth and playing with them. Mommy paid no attention. Great news for me. I had found a way to accompany myself through the boredom. It felt good. As time passed I came to realize that I could do this for other uncomfortable moments and if Mommy told me to take my fingers out of my mouth, I realized that I could pick them without her saying anything. Then I learned that I could peel or bite the picked part right off. I didn't even mind if it hurt. For some reason the hurt felt good. I also remember that I felt a tension release during these activities and it was even more pleasurable if I could hide it from others, especially Mommy. I truly believe this was the beginning of hiding other negative, but cherished behaviors, especially related to my future addictions and eating disorder.

I've studied my own habit over the years and here are some things I've learned about it. Pay attention to how specific these things are. My preference is to skin pick, and especially the skin around my left middle finger. At one point in my life I was able to stop all natil biting and picking, as long as I allowed myself to pick this particular finger. At one point I had created a hole in that area that was prone to infections. While all of this may sound rather ridiculous, it is quite important, as it indicated my feelings about it. I've always been amazed at how my subconcious mind knows exactly where all those little areas are that are waiting or seemingly wanting to be picked, and how I can go directly to that poor finger without any awareness whatsoever.

INNER COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS

As I learned to be "still & to pay attention" to the specifics of my habit, I was able to learn many things that would prove to be valuable in the development of my plan to stop. Isolating and studying my own inner communication system or thoughts, helped me and still helps me to know what specifics need to be mind-edited or changed. This is key in breaking any habit, including nail biting and skin picking, as well as updating or upgrading the "staying stopped program." The good news is that it is not difficult to locate these specifics. Like me, you have a personal assistant in your own subconcious mind. Simply ask for what you need!

Here's a working example. I was driving to work this morning when I found myself picking my cuticles at every red light or when traffic came to a halt. Even though it was early morning, I was already feeling stress building from some petty annoyances. My body was producing and storing stress chemicals, despite the fact I just woke up an hour ago. At the very same time, my body was working to release these through my cuticle picking. As I tuned into the rest of my body, the tension was obvious, rather like a suit of armor. No wonder I was picking my cuticles! This automatic pilot program is still in place, even though I've corrected my nail biting habit. In other words, even though I now know "how not to bite my nails or pick my cuticles," it was important for me to wake up to this, because then I was able to reprogram my mind in that very moment, as you will be able to do as well, as you learn to climb the four steps.

SELF-WORK

Take some time now to think about when you began your habit, as well as some observations about it. As I mentioned earlier, don't be concerned with the exact time, unless it screams out at you. It will help you to work with a journal. Keep one specifically for this purpose. This gives a powerful suggestion to your own subconscious mind that you are actively involved in solving the underlying issues to your habit and therefore your mind will be more forthcoming. Keep the journal simple and informatil. Ask your mind questions and write the responses. Here are a few questions to get you started:

When did I begin this habit?
Why do I want to stop?
Why don't I want to stop?
What will I miss?
What rewards do I get from my biting and picking?
What are the triggers that set me off?
When are my prime times for biting or picking?

2006 - All material is copyrighted and cannot be reproduced or copied in any form without author's permission.